The Dream

It all started with a dream. Well not really, but it sounds pretty dramatic. But there was a dream, and it did impact us greatly! Last February, (2006) Dan and I had been futilely attempting for two years to get pregnant. Not really a nightmare, but certainly a long two years, which just got longer and harder as each month went buy. We had always said that we wanted to adopt, but our idea was that we would have biological children first, and then adopt. Things were obviously not going according to plan, as they never really do. One night I had a dream. I really wish that I had woken up and written it down instantly, as I always wish when I have a dream that I know is coming from God. But I do remember a few things. I remember being handed a baby, that I had not birthed, but I knew was mine to raise. The baby was so tiny and I was afraid that it would break. (I say "it" because I do not know whether the baby was a boy or a girl). The baby had dark skin, but I did not know the race. What I did know was the name. Over and over in the dream, I called the baby "Ashar." I just knew that was the name. It was interesting that though I knew the baby was mine and Dan's to raise, we had no ownership. We were the parents, but the child was not ours to do with what we wanted . In fact, in the dream, time went very fast, and the child grew very quickly.

I have thought a lot about that dream since I had it. For one thing, I had never even heard the word "Ashar" before. The next day I looked it up. I found out that the word is a Hebrew word that literally means: to be straight, to be level, to be right, to go forward, to lead, to be blessed. It's funny how when you hear something for the first time, suddenly you hear it everywhere, and we did. We knew that the dream was about our child and the name of our child. Dan has always said that he believes that God can speak to us about the destiny and purpose of our children, and that as parents, we need to be building that purpose and destiny in them. I don't pretend to know at this point what it all means. But what I do know is that God has a plan for our children, and that we as parents will be required to help our children discover what that is, and who He is. I don't know the circumstances, or the process, but I know that God knows it, and we will know what we need to know.

When I look with my natural eyes, I think about the fact that Ashar is not a name that we would ever come up with on our own. But maybe adoption from Ethiopia was not something that we would have come up with on our own either. It's all His idea, He birthed it in our hearts, and we are sold out for that.